Lingering...

Yeah, its lingering. It's not just a one night situation. Why does this have to happen now. Right before the holiday. I mean last night was tough, but to wake up to pretty much a groundhog day of it was worse. I mean I am keeping it together. I even did my hair AND makeup just to try and make myself feel a little better. The depression has set it. Fire away is on repeat. And like usual he doesn't see it. Or he doesn't care. Or both. He is always been a creature of doesn't care. Don't care how I make you feel. Don't care if your mad. Don't care if your going through something. I just try to be bold faced. No crying. No sadness. No weakness. It makes it worse I'm sure and no he isn't a monster. I know deep down he does probably care. I hope. But who knows I'm not him. I just know how I operate. Don't show any emotion. Any weak emotion at least. I don't really know what else to say. I'm upset. I'm empty. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm lonely. And I have no one to talk to about it. Just put on the regular face and keep it moving. Let it out in the shower. Then back to no weakness. It all blows over with me and Dre. It does every single time. But in it it feels like forever, because as previously mentioned, I have NO ONE ELSE. He does. It's just me and my thoughts. With myself. And that's all. I am just so lonely. That's all for now. Not much else to say. I think we all get the point.