Now I don't wanna come off like a total cliche, but I'm not starting this "blog" to be read by millions and inspire. I'm mostly starting this to just be a brain dump. A journal or sorts. Or if you want to be really corny, a diary. Sometimes I just get this overwhelming feeling that I need to get things out and due to turning into a complete introvert after 30, I am seriously lacking impartial people to talk to about things as they are all family at this point. So here we are. Since a preteen, I have loved writing. I have loved reading since even before then which I'm thinking lead to my love of writing. I also have a love for typing as weird as that is. There is something satisfying about typing at a satisfactory speed with no mistakes. Weird, again. Nevertheless, this is what this is. And if you have somehow found yourself here, to which I would be completely surprised, welcome to this mind. My mind. It complicated. It can be dark and twisty (yes I am a HUGE Grey's Anatomy fan). It can also be beautiful and I have had many moments in my life that I wish I could take a screenshot of in my mind to hold onto forever. And when I say that it's not just of the location or the scene of what I was doing, it's more the feeling that I feel at that exact moment. I have had moments in which I feel so complete and so happy that those words don't even seem to describe it well enough. I also have a horrible memory. I mean baaaadddddd. My husband will often ask me if I remember someone that we met on a fly 6 years ago and I have no idea of the place he even says we were at. He on the other hand seems to remember every face and place that we experience. Wish I had that ability but I don't. So as I'm sitting here typing whatever thoughts come into my mind, I am discovering that this will serve a few different purposes. I look forward to continuing on with it, although I will not be putting myself on a schedule as that seems to be when things stop being relaxing or fun and begin being a chore that I will inevitably put off as I am a serial procrastinator and hate HAVING to do things. Wow as I am thinking about the traits described in the opening entry, I am not sounding that good ha! Hopefully we will change that soon. 'Til then...
...like not of anything specific, just literally tired. I don't know if it was because of the holiday or what but I am just exhausted tired. Like I could just sleep all day long kind of tired. Christmas was kind of hard for me this year which I didn't really expect, and maybe I'm having a bit of residual depression or something. I honestly knew I was sad that I wouldn't be seeing my family for the holiday, but when the day came I found myself really having a hard time believing that it was Christmas and could not get in the mood. It didn't help that we had loads of kids here as well so we didn't get that wake up early and open presents situation either. So we just sat around all day and waited for dinner to be done without doing really any holiday traditions. It was odd. The kids opened a few gifts downstairs away from all the kids with us, then we opened some more late at night around 930 when everyone had left (mind you I was half awake and Dre was asleep lol
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